Today we are blessed to have Andrea Maher once again as our guest blogger. If you have ever felt shame as a result of something that was brought on by you, happened to you or fell upon you, you will want to read this message of encouragement from Andrea.
Recently I was thrown off by an unexpected question: How did your son die? I was in a public place surrounded by people whose ears were in close proximity to the conversation. My mind went into a frenzy, as I weighed what I would say and how I would be viewed by those listening in. So I went the safe way and said, “He died in a tragic accident.”
Okay, not really the truth—but technically not really a lie. It was “tragic” and it was “an accident.” I just couldn’t bring myself to say that he died under the influence of drugs not knowing how I would be judged at that moment. Have I really digressed that far? The probability of seeing these women again was nil, so why did I care? I mean I’ve written a book telling my story and yet these moments still creep up on me and catch me unaware. The sore spot still exists deep within my soul, that voice that accuses me as a mom that I should have been able to do something to stop the destruction of his life still surfaces unexpectedly.
But after my wrestling ends, I always come back to the truth of the matter and that is God does not want us to feel ‘shame.’ There’s a masterful Bible verse in John 9:2 when Jesus disciples asked, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; BUT IT WAS SO THAT THE WORKS OF GOD MIGHT BE DISPLAYED IN HIM....
Whatever you are facing, whether it was brought on by you, happened to you, or fell upon you—it is God’s will and purpose to use it for His glory when we let go of it and trust and surrender it to Him.
And so a reminder to me and you: May the works of God be seen in all that is sent our way. May we truly grasp His sovereignty in our lives and know that He can create beauty out of any heap of ashes. He bore our shame: "But He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement for our peace was upon Him. And by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
" B e S t i l l "
Andrea Maher is the former editor-in chief of PARENT ABC’s, a monthly magazine dedicated to helping parents navigate the everyday concerns of family life. She is the author of the newly released book, SLAMMED: Overcoming Tragedy in the Wave of Grief, A Survival Guide She has been married to her husband, John, for 40 years and are the parents of four sons, and enjoy their six grandchildren in Cape May, New Jersey where they reside. You can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.