There are many things that happen in life that we have no control over...things that we are helpless to change. To be able to move forward and heal from grief and loss and to find peace, we have to be able to accept our new circumstances and losses.
Acceptance is realizing that life the way you have known it has changed and it will never be the same again. Acceptance is looking toward the future and the possibilities that it holds. Acceptance is adapting physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to life's changes. It is not giving up or surrendering, but it is laying to rest the desire to have "what was" and accepting "what is." We quit resisting and denying and use our energy instead to adapt, heal and find peace within ourselves and our circumstances. Acceptance, is the path to moving away from the pain of grief and loss.
I think it helps us to accept things we can't change, when we realize that God is in control. So many people get stuck on wanting answers. They want to understand. They want to know "why"...why did their loved one die, why did they become sick, why did their loved one leave, why are they struggling financially, why weren't their prayers answered...the bottom line is, there are just so many questions that we will never have the answers to this side of heaven. To continue to focus on the questions... to keep struggling with what has happened... to keep looking back, instead of forward... keeps us from accepting and moving beyond our pain. It is much more helpful to focus on what we can know..."The Who"... we know, "Who" holds us securely in His hand, "Who" is working all things together for good for those who love Him, "Who" has a hope filled plan for our future..."Who" grieves with us..."Who" collects our tears in His bottle and writes them in His book...
The only thing we truly ever have control of in this life is our attitude and the things we choose to accept and believe. The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr is such a help when you find yourself in that place of facing something that you have no control over
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
We must come to accept that God in His wisdom, has allowed the things that happen to us and He will use our pain, our losses, our grief, our infirmities, injuries and disabilities for our good and His glory. He will work through the circumstances to bring us closer to Him and to teach us things about Himself that we can learn no other way. Grief and loss changes us in many ways and if we allow Him, God will use our difficulties and losses to make us more like Jesus. We are told in the Bible that we will share in Christ's sufferings...that we shouldn't be surprised by it. But we are also told that we are more than conquerors... that these trials produce in us eternal rewards...things like patience, perseverance, compassion and trust in God. We learn about God's peace that defies our circumstances. We are told that "blessed are those who mourn, because they will be comforted." Our difficulties and the suffering of this life are temporary and can't begin to compare to the joy that is coming. The scriptures are written to give us comfort and to encourage us. God helps us to do what we cannot do on our own. With His help, we can accept and overcome things we could never do on our own.