Stress, Anxiety, Grief, and Depression can impact our emotions and our decision-making ability. Negative emotions make us see things differently. We might see fewer options that are available to us. We often think in terms of "all or nothing"...we think the worst-case scenarios in the situations we come up against... we tend to think things will never get better, etc... these things are called cognitive distortions.
Some people have dealt with negative thinking their whole lives. They might see the bad before the good and all that is wrong instead of all that is right. Many don't know how to live with an attitude of gratitude or how to look for the positives in a situation. The environment we grow up in affects how we view stressful situations. If we grew up with parents who didn’t model good coping skills, we probably wouldn’t have good coping skills. If we grow up in a home that didn’t turn to God when things were hard, or a family that didn’t have good communication and you didn’t talk through bad or stressful situations, you might tend to deal with stress by keeping things bottled up inside, and we now know that takes a toll on a person in every way. The good news is, with God’s help, we can change. Our past doesn’t define our future. God does. The Lord helps us overcome and do things we could never do in our own strength. We have so many examples of this in His Word and many real-life examples as well.
As believers, we know that not every situation is good, but God is always good. He promises in Romans 8:28 to work ALL things together for good for those who believe in Him. As Christ-followers, we can and must learn to live with our eyes on Christ and not on our circumstances. We must live as though we expect God will fulfill His promises to us. When we live this way, we help ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I know this is easier said than done, but we can do all things through Christ, and we need to repeat that scripture to ourselves constantly.
Here’s a helpful truth that is vital for finding God’s peace. If you've ever tried to "just stop thinking" about something, you know that it doesn't work...it boomerangs back to you, and you end up fixating on the thought even more. We must learn to replace negative thoughts with better ones, which is how to overcome negative or self-defeating self-talk. We have to learn to be intentional about what we think and the thoughts we entertain to have His peace.
The Bible says in Philippians 4:8-9, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."
I like the AMP version of this verse, “Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. The things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you.”
2 Cor 10:5 tells us to "take every thought captive.”
Romans 12:2 TLB says, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
We can't just let negative thoughts go unchecked in our minds. Max Lucado says, "we can't always stop negative, fearful, or anxious thoughts from coming to our door, but we can choose which ones we will entertain."
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you have heard me often speak about this topic because it is so important. As believers, we are taught to be mindful of the things we say to others, we are supposed to speak words that build up and encourage, and we need to be aware of the things we say to ourselves as well.
Just as it’s important what foods we feed our bodies, what thoughts we feed our minds when dealing with stressful situations or adversity is equally essential. We need to let what God says have more power in our lives than what others say, what we tell ourselves, or what we can see from our current vantage point.
We can learn to retrain our thinking and shut down anxious, negative, self-defeating, and fearful thoughts. Another word for this is reframing. We need to change and reframe how we view our circumstances. We can often help ourselves by merely changing the wording from “I have to” to “I get to.” We often view our opportunities as stressful instead of as blessings. Instead of saying, “I have to go to work,” say “I get to go to work,” Instead of saying, “I have to do the dishes, say I’m so blessed to have food and clean water and the physical strength and ability to wash the dishes.” This mindset might be hard to comprehend for some people until something terrible happens. I didn’t fully appreciate this point of view until I had health problems that kept me bedridden and depleted of energy. It became a blessing to have the ability to get up and have the strength and stamina to do the dishes. If we apply just this one step, we will significantly impact our stress levels and overall well-being. Perspective is everything. We may not always be able to change our circumstances, but sometimes just changing the way we look at our circumstances can be a real game-changer for us.
The Bible says, “As a man thinks, so he is.” If we walk around saying to ourselves, “I’m so stressed,” we will feel stressed. If we walk around saying, instead, “when I am weak, He is strong...I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” we will feel like we can get through what we are going through. If we continually remind ourselves that “God’s got this and He has me,” we encourage ourselves. King David often encouraged himself in scripture by remembering the truth about God and all God had done for him in the past. God tells us to cast our cares on Him, He will sustain us, and His grace is sufficient to see us through. We have to keep claiming and meditating on God’s promises. The Bible says we are to meditate on His Words night and day. They give us life, refreshment, and they help us carry on when life is hard. The Word helps us fight back against discouragement and keep a healthy perspective on our circumstances.
I’m sure most of us have, at some point, felt like we were drowning under the weight of things that were pressing on us. During those times, we must remember that God’s Word is a life-preserver to those who believe. We also must remember that our God walks on water. He tells us to come to Him, and He will give us rest and cast our burdens upon Him. The Lord doesn’t just give us His promises. He gives us Himself.
Isaiah 59:19 says, “ When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.”
We must remember that anything that touches our lives the Lord has allowed. We may not understand, we may not see a purpose, but He does. We know that what God calls us to, He equips us for, and He promises that His grace is sufficient. Period.
We may be overwhelmed, but He is not. We may lack strength, but He gives us His strength and power to sustain us. These are the things that we have to keep speaking to ourselves. We focus on how big God is, not how big the giants in front of us are.
Is this always easy...no? Do we still get tired and feel drained? Yes, but He gives us all we need to survive, one day at a time. He does not fail. We can all look back on our past and remember when we didn’t think we would make it...the many times we didn’t know how we would survive, yet here we are. We have a history of victory. If we allow Him, He will use all the hard things we are going through to draw us closer to Him, and we will come to know Him in ways we can’t learn when things are easy or good.
Automatic Negative Thoughts are known as “ANTS.”
HOW TO KILL THE ANTs
Here are the simple steps to eliminate the ANTs. Whenever you feel sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, do the following:
Write down your automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). The act of writing down the ANTs helps to get the invaders out of your head.
Identify the ANT species. There are nine types of ANTs.
ANT Types
All-or-Nothing ANTs: Thinking that things are either all good or all bad
Less-Than ANTs: Comparing and seeing yourself as less than others
Just-the-Bad ANTs: Seeing only the bad in a situation
Guilt-Beating ANTs: Thinking in words like should, must, ought, or have to
Labeling ANTs: Attaching a negative label to yourself or someone else
Fortune-Telling ANTs: Predicting the worst possible outcome for a situation with little or no evidence for it
Mind-Reading ANTs: Believing you know what other people are thinking even though they haven’t told you
If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When ANTs: Arguing with the past and longing for the future
Blaming ANTs: Blaming someone else for your problems
Ask yourself if the thought is true. Are you 100% sure it’s true?
Ask yourself how you feel when you have the thought. Then ask how you would feel without the thought.
Make ANT-killing a daily habit. Killing the ANTs takes practice. You can’t just do it once.
I am posting some excellent videos by Dr. Daniel Amen to help you dig deeper on how to kill the ANTS. They drain us of energy mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, so this is another thing we can do to help ourselves. Dr. Amen was my son’s doctor when he was young and he was an instructor for many of my life coaching courses. He has become a world-renown brain-health expert. He is a wonderful resource I highly recommend for brain health and mental health issues.
Here are a few links that you might find to be helpful.
